An Old Dog Learning New Tricks

Nothing makes me feel more like that "old dog" trying to learn new tricks than trying to learn to play the guitar.

Don't misunderstand me:  I LOVE music and LOVE trying new things and LOVE my patient, wonderfully understanding and talented teacher.  And, learning to play the guitar has always been on my list of things I want to accomplish.  However, I don't pick things up as easily as I once used to and I lack the free time learning to play properly requires.

As a former violinist (12 years classical training and one season with the San Diego Youth Symphony) and as a writing instructor, I appreciate the discipline required to achieve proficiency in any complex skill.  And I appreciate the dedication to practice this endeavor also requires.  I cringe when I come to the end of each week realizing that I was only able to practice one time for 30 minutes.  Or, even worse, not at all.

With that being said, I have been learning to play Kansas's "Dust in the Wind" for over a year now.  It's coming along, but I fear that it will never sound as good as the original one does--I'm too slow and not as agile as I'd like to think I should be.  However, at the slower tempo I play it, it doesn't sound bad and is even recognizable.  I'm elated at my ability to muddle through the entire song and have actually memorized it.  (It's a really long song, especially played at my slower speed!)  I've even managed to learn how to play a simple version of Carrie Underwood's "Two Black Cadillacs" with some level of proficiency.

With all of this said, I'm astounded at the rapid learning rate my two youngest children have in learning to play bass and guitar.  My daughter has mastered more songs much more quickly than I have and is even attempting some crazy bar chords that I don't think I could ever get the hang of.  And, my son has blasted through learning about seven songs on his bass guitar--he's getting good!  I love their fearlessness and that they embrace the learning curve.  Even when things get tough, they don't quit.  And, even though I have to nag them to remember to practice, they are getting better and running circles around my learning curve.

I'm not jealous of their successes...but I do think I'm a bit envious of their youth and agility and the attitude that they can conquer anything, things that seem to have been beaten down in me lately.  I do still believe in myself, but with middle age creeping up on me, I'm sometimes more aware of the time behind me than the time ahead of me.  I believe in being a lifelong learner and--darn it--if it takes the rest of my life, I promise to myself I will learn to play proficiently songs that make me happy and provide a level of peace to my harried life.

Maybe I need someone to nag me...

Moving from Consumer to Producer

I've been contemplating a lot lately how much of a consumer I am, especially a consumer of books, TV and movie media.  In truth, some of this introspection renders me a happy, happy mama as I dread what my state of mind would be without my books!  However, I am also concerned and disappointed at times in my own “need to be entertained.”   

I don’t just want to talk a good game about what good writing looks like; I desperately want to be a producer, not just a consumer, a desire that has become more pressing over roughly the last five years.  But, I want what I produce to be “quality,” something worth the time others will spend consuming and perhaps something that will inspire the next consumer-turned-producer. 

With this in mind, I am thrilled that my best friend and I are finally embarking on a project we have talked about doing for some years now. We have finally scheduled—in pen—time once a week to get together to write.  We will be focusing on writing songs for the time being, but I imagine this will branch out—as creative projects often do—into other genres.  Our first meeting was a wonderfully messy attempt to focus our creative energies and come up with a plan.  This all strikes me as laughably ironic:  planning a creative endeavor seems akin to choreographing a tornado. 

In any event, we not only planned some, we created some, too, and it is through the simple result—that we penned at least ¾ of a halfway promising song—that I find contentment.  As we find our rhythm, as we find and blend our voices and visions, beautiful and messy things will happen.  

Making Lemonade

It's not always easy to put on a smile when life becomes sour.

A recent situation my eldest son faced this week made this lesson very clear to us.  It's difficult, even under the best of circumstances, to remain consistently optimistic, and when you're 22 and trying to take huge steps into the uncharted waters of adulthood, it's natural to become apprehensive.  However, when life just kicks you straight in the teeth, what then?

The first, most natural response, of course, is to become angry.  He's angry, my husband is angry, I'm angry. But anger doesn't get you very far.  In fact, anger is often counterproductive.  But, it's a real, visceral response to betrayal, especially when you've been wronged and can do nothing about the situation except let it happen. The result is a feeling of powerlessness.

Letting go of the anger, now that's powerful.  In letting go of the anger, you actually take control of the situation because, while you can't control the situation itself, you can control how you respond to the situation. You cease being acted upon and become the agent of action.  You are no longer the victim, but emerge from the situation wiser, perhaps a little more cautious, and certainly better prepared to make lemonade the next time life hands you a bushel of lemons.

But, try telling that to a 22-year-old.

Book Review: Intermezzo by Melinda Morgan

Book Review:  Intermezzo by Melinda Morgan

Intermezzo, the second installment of the Birthright Legacy, picks up where Etude left off, with Beth Arrington inhabiting the body of Eleanor Hastings during the Civil War period.  Without giving too much away, as Beth awaits her return to her own time period and body, we learn some of the backstory about the Intruders and Bailey, as well as Jonathan and Grace.

This book is interesting also in that while it is a YA novel, there is an element of sophistication that was less present in Etude.  This is, of course, not to say that YA novels cannot be and are not sophisticated.  In fact, most of the better YA novels carry a level of sophistication that allows them to appeal to a much wider audience than those intended, and it is in this realm that I would also place Intermezzo.

Three Things I Like:
1.  Two characters in one:  One of the things I found hugely interesting is the juxtaposition of Beth's 21st century voice against the expectations of Eleanor's 19th century cultural refinement.  Beth is constantly aware that she is interfering with Eleanor's life, and the fact that these two women coexist in the same body is an interesting feature of the story.  How they communicate with one another and with those around them provides some intense and often comical moments.

2.  Reinterpretation of story:  As with Etude, I enjoy the reinvention and reinterpretation of story, specifically the Biblical Adam and Eve story.  I don't want to give too much away.  Although it takes a while to get there, Intermezzo picks up where Etude left off with this reinterpretation and it is one of the more attractive features (for me) of the story.

3.  Complex relationships:  The relationships between Eleanor and her father, Eleanor and her mother, and  Eleanor and Beth are real.  They exhibit the intensity and muddiness of all relationships that are real.  Father's drawings and "secret" past and Mother's reticence were beautifully handled and crafted parts of the story.

Three Things I Liked Less:
1.  Beth seems a bit whiny:  In Intermezzo Beth comes across as a bit whiny about not being able to be with Jonathan.  True, she is stuck in a seemingly impossible and implausible situation and has little hope of being able to right it all by herself.  However, I would have liked more "conversations" with Eleanor and fewer pouts.

2.  Delay of Bailey's entrance:  Bailey is hinted at a few times throughout most of the book, but when he finally makes his grand entrance, I was thoroughly excited.  This part of the novel was dark and murky and sinister; I loved every minute of it and wanted more.  Is Bailey the Grey Ghost?  Is Bailey more of a factor in the war itself?  What happened to the people from the camp?  I felt like this was such a rich part of the book and truly was anxiety-provoking--in a really wonderful way--and I wanted more of it and I wanted it earlier.

3.  The third book is not yet finished!  There were so many nuggets dropped for the last novel that I feel like I'm clawing at the end of the rope--What's the deal with Jonathan's brother?  What happens when Beth returns to the 21st century?  What's Bailey's ultimate goal?  When's the next one coming???

All in all, I recommend Intermezzo to YA readers young and old. I'm anxiously awaiting the third installment, wondering what's in store for Beth and Jonathan.  Come on, Mindy:  I need the finale!

Source:
Morgan, Melinda.  Intermezzo.  Ogden:  WindRiver Publishing, 2013.  Print.

Who Needs New Year's Resolutions?

“For last year's words belong to last year's language And next year's words await another voice.” ― T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets 

As 2013 came to an altogether-too-rapid end, I blinked...and it became 2014.  Customary or not, I am not in the habit of setting resolutions for myself, although I all too well recognize the need to redouble my efforts at health and fitness goals (among many other goals) that have escaped me.

I do, however, really like the idea of long-range planning, and so it was with a lot of optimism that three years ago I met the 101 in 1001 list.  

This project is known as the Day Zero Project.  Here is a blurb copied from their website:

The Challenge:  Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days [2 years and eight-ish months].

The Criteria:  Tasks must be specific (i.e., no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined.  Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (i.e., represent some amount of work on your part).

Source:  Green, Michael.  Day Zero Project.  1 Aug. 2012.  Web.  2 January 2014. Day Zero Project

I admired my friend/colleague Colette’s list three years ago; this year, I revisit my mediocre first attempt and rise to the challenge renewed and refocused.  I started with the same baseline of Colette’s initial list from three years ago and adjusted/revised/edited according to my life and goals.  Colette had a great list on which to build.  

In reviewing my initial list, I was disheartened to realize I let so many good, solid goals slip away from me; or rather, I let the three years slip away from me without accomplishing the things I wanted to do.  This year, I am reviewing that list and thinking, "So, are these things I really, truly want to accomplish?  Or, are they just things that sound nice, in-a-perfect-world type things to think about?"  I want my list to be meaningful to me.  I want my list to be a challenge, but a reachable one.  I want my list to help me develop in the directions I truly want to grow in.  

But, despite my optimism, some part of me is also a realist.  I don't for even one minute think that a simple list is going to really help me grow.  I know that growth and development is going to have to come from me, from the seed of desire, the moment of realizing I have not become what I know I can become.  I feel that seed trying to sprout; in truth, I have always felt that seed trying to sprout, and I want to pull the weeds that are preventing it from sprouting like I know it can and will.  

So, who needs New Year's Resolutions?  Well, apparently I do.  I'm just going to approach it from a "lifestyle-change" point of view.